I have been very angry today.
I have spent a lot of time talking to myself asking questions and I explained in all in a very over detailed and long post. I have deleted that and replaced it with a more condensed form that focus' more on the points of value I'm trying to make and less on venting my anger.
"Why" it is a question I am fond of asking, but I do not ask it to question the intelligence of the one I'm asking of, but so that I can understand the process of reasoning behind things that way I will be able to decide for myself weather something is correct. So is it, or is it not, correct for me to look down on people who never ask that question, and more importantly never answer that question?
Also what good is believing in something without evidence? If there is no sufficient evidence for something is there any reason why I or anyone should believe it? And how can one find evidence for a point without asking the fabled question "why"? Is it correct for me to look down on those who do not see the need for evidence?
Nay we should not look down on anyone. However I have an iron will that is not prone to changing, and I can't help but be angered by those who are too close-minded to listen to any opinion other than there own, as well as those who can't see the need for evidence. God, however, told us to love all even our enemies, but I suppose that is just something I still have trouble with. I suppose that all have faults and since people must deal with mine, I should deal with others.
This is why I started blogging. I often times talk to myself even at long length and sometimes I feel that anything I come to is worthless as no one hears them, but me. Of course sometimes the points I come to might not do good for any one but me. I'm am not saying that my words are jewels and should be treasured, but that sometimes I feel like my thoughts only are sucked to a black whole. If one person heard or read my thoughts and at least considered them, not necessarily agreed, I would feel as if my useless rambles to myself are at least dust in the wind, to be seen by many, instead of shadows in the dark, to be seen by none. I don't want to be understood, just heard.
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I know how you feel to a certain extent. I've always felt overshadowed by my elder brother, whom everyone always liked and were awed by his intelligence. It took me a long time to get used to it, and it still bothers me sometimes, because I feel unrighteously ignored. The ego is one of the most difficult parts of the human being to mature, but we must remain strong in our struggle to Heaven as always.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I really like your metaphorical bit at the end. ;)
Actually this has nothing to do with any of my brothers. I've been frustrated my whole life that I seem to have better reasoning than many of my superiors. Surly they got there for a reason, and maybe that reason is to test my will, but I can't help but feel that their authority means less when there is a lack of reasoning behind it
ReplyDeleteI do see how you may have skewed my point, but on the other hand you didn't miss the mark by much so there's not really anything to discuss.